Seen and at Peace

I absolutely love complimenting people.  I am a firm believer that a kind word can do wonders for lifting and freeing a person’s spirit.  There is a joy that arises in my heart when I can look at a complete stranger and say things like, “Ok shoes!  Alright hair!!” and the recipient of those statements light up like a Christmas tree.  As great as it feels to compliment a person’s outside appearance, there is something magical about being able to speak to the beauty of a person’s character or their heart.  To be able to share with someone that who they are makes you want to be better is an indescribable feeling, and I have been blessed to give that gift and be on the receiving end of it as well.

My family and I began attending a new church about six years ago.  The ministry was by far the largest that we had ever attended and for the first time in our lives we were in the racial minority at our church.  Now understand, we were worshiping the same God, but the expression of that worship looked sounded different.  Whereas I was accustomed to lots of “Amens”, “Preach”, or “Say thats!”  ringing across the sanctuary, as the pastor delivered the word, this ministry was decidedly quieter during the preaching. The pastor was truly feeding the people a rich and edifying word, but people for the most part were sitting quietly and taking it all in.  Now don’t get me wrong, people were fully engaged, lives were being changed, and souls were being saved, but it was a quieter expression of those miracles.

Well, being who I am, one reality was true, you could take me out of the Baptist Church, but you could not take the Baptist Church out of me.  Whenever our pastor said something that resonated or really hit home for me, I would shout things like “amen”, “yes”, “You preaching doc” or whatever else felt appropriate, in the moment.  In the beginning this was met with some shocked looks and even snickers from those around me. I laugh at it now, but at that moment, it felt odd doing what came naturally. I was in a new environment. I allowed all of me to come into the room, even if it went against the norm.  It would have been easy to shrink back and avoid drawing attention to myself, and if I am honest, there were times that I tried.  I would sit there  silently “amening” in my head and heart, but as you can imagine, the Holy Ghost in me wasn’t having it, and praise would bubble up in my belly and out of my mouth it would flow.  

Fast forward about a year.  It was a slow shift, but I started to realize that more and more people were talking back to the pastor during the service.  My “amen” was no longer the only one ringing across the sanctuary.  Other people began to shout out their agreement and excitement with what was being preached.  This change in the atmosphere was confirmed when another member came up to me, after service, and asked if she could hug me.  I did not know this woman from a can of paint but I willingly hugged her trusting that God was using this moment for His glory.  I asked her why she wanted to hug me and she simply said, “You worshiping God so freely makes me feel like I can do the same, and that feels amazing.  Thank you for being you”. This simple interaction has become a common one that I still experience regularly five years later.  Being willing to allow people to see me, the boisterous worshiping me, although I physically look significantly different than most of them, would have been easy to shy away from.  Yet, in being willing to be seen authentically, I helped to make other people feel and know that they were not just allowed, but should show up as their authentic selves.  

With that said, what comes to mind when you hear the phrase “I see you”?  It is such a simple sentence, yet those three words convey so much.  I wonder if it makes you smile at the thought of someone admiring the hard work that you put into pulling together your look?  Does it cause you to pause or pull back for fear of being judged and found wanting? Or does it make you take a deep breath, steel your back, hold your head up high, and welcome them seeing the real you.  Not your well manicured “representative” (i.e. the version of you that you feel is most palatable and digestible to others), but the real you.  The person who has scars, struggles, victories, and losses.  The version of you that probably not many people know.

My hope is that you will lean into being seen.  You deserve to be able to be seen and still be at peace.  Let me be real with you, there is a vulnerability that comes with truly being seen.  Allowing people in, that much, can be a huge risk.  People can be judgy and mean.  That is a scary reality to live in, yet it is so worth it.  Regardless of their preconceived notions of who they believe you ought to be, you should embrace and celebrate who you are and keep moving towards who you want to be in the future.  Now, I by no means want you telling anything with a pulse all of your business.   You have to exercise wisdom and discernment on when, how, and to whom you share your story.  But you do not have to hide who you are in order to make other people comfortable.  You are a single edition masterpiece.  Own it, and walk in the beauty of that reality.

Understand, you may not be everyone’s cup of tea.  Guess what?  That is perfectly fine.  Not everyone is built to handle you nor will everyone always like you, but that does not make you a bad person or somehow less than.  Let that sink in. Your value is not determined or maintained by the value assigned to you by others. You are more than enough, right now, in your current state.  You have to make peace with who you are today and stop raking yourself over the coals for who you are not. Can you learn to be ok with people seeing you and can you be at peace with who they see? 

This week I want to challenge you to journal through the following questions.  What does it mean for me to be seen and known?  How do I feel about the authentic version of myself and how can I express my appreciation for my authentic self?  Who helps me to feel seen? And lastly, how can I be intentional about seeing someone I love this week?  You are such a priceless gift.  Please do not deny the world the gift of getting to know the real you. Until next time, be kind to yourself and love yourself a little harder and a little deeper each day, because you deserve it.